A thread on the end of the world

I saw it again! It was right there, I could see the line dividing my reality.

It was morning 6:00 AM, the sun was bright, it almost felt like the rays could pierce my eyes. "Sunglasses should do!", I thought to myself. To be honest I have had a look at myself when I used to wear sunglasses, and trust me nothing would look worse. So I never had a liking to them, they just didn't suit me.

Well the sun huh? Why is everyone in such a rush? They want to go somewhere, but where? Is it really so important? Thier work? What exactly do they do? Why do they have to do it? Dad?! Are you leaving as well? And mom? Are you too? What am I gonna do? "Tuffy is not so busy, unlike you guys!", guess I'll just go and talk to him.

Will I be in such a rush too? My pet dog Tuffy is better than anyone else, he talks with me, he never lets me feel alone. I love to spend time with him, he knows a lot of things. A lot of secrets!

Oh did I tell you about someone I knew? This specific someone was special. They used to talk to me, play with me, we forever used to laugh and cry together. Sometimes they even roasted the hell out of me but they were there. Did they get busy as well? I don't hear from them anymore, what happened?

It was 10:00 AM, am I thinking of getting with everyone as well? Yes what if I get left behind? "She looks beautiful!", but I? No wait! This is no time for all this crap, I have to focus. The pages in my book started flying, like a spiral of flowers dancing and moving upwards. I looked at it and laughed, such beauty.

There were flowers all around, there is beauty in stillness, there is beauty in movements. Did I contradict myself? No, what is beauty? Is it in all those faces I see every morning. She looked pretty though, was that beauty? Well I said she looks beautiful. But she never looks at me, is she ignoring me? Damn it, how come I didn't understand.

Now I keep thinking about her.

It was 12:00 PM, it doesn't matter anymore. I have to rush there, I remember about this girl, she was always on my mind. But it doesn't matter anymore, I have to rush there, if I get late it would be all over. I heard that she is happy with someone else, but why not me? Am I happy? She was beautiful! Not like it matters anymore.

I had an epiphany, I knew what I had to do. It takes a lot of effort to muster up courage and do it, but I can do it. What happens when we sleep? It is always so peaceful, I am starving for that peace, but this day never ends. Can I get that peace? Why no one thinks of me? Can you do it for me? No! You don't owe me anything why should you?

I think I am wrong, wrong in thinking that I deserved anything. The epiphany, yes.

I know what to do.

There was this cliff, the water hitting the rocks, the calm breeze blowing across the face. Could I have brought her here. She would have loved the breeze, but no it doesn't matter anymore. The water looks so blue, the sky's reflection, it was like a world of its own. The clouds forming shapes I could identify.

Look mom! A cat, the night sky reflecting on the surface of water, can I count the stars mom? The moon its so big! I am gonna go there someday. The water hitting the rocks, the calm breeze. It blew even then and it is still there.

Why did I come here? Was it you mom? What is that? I saw the horizon it was amazing. It separated the sky from the surface of water, the reflection of the sun stretching all the way across. I walked to the edge, the height was making my legs shiver.

I closed my eyes.

Just you watch I will achieve everything I want to. I will travel to edge of this world, I will earn a lot of money, I will have a lot of friends, I will be happy. Did I achieve anything? The breeze was so cold it hit me straight across my face, I can feel every inch of it moving across my face.

Fate. What was it? The sun was it bright? Why was I in such a rush? Did I wanted to go somewhere? But where? Was it really so important? Oh wait, it was work, my work. But what exactly do I do? Why do I have to do it? Everyone left, mom, dad, Tuffy even you too? Did they too never had any answers? Were they just moving on their own?

My body, it was so warm suddenly, I felt tears rolling down my eyes. What was it? Why was I crying? I haven't cried in years, it felt good. I missed it, the feeling of your chest getting loose, all the problems going away in tears, I wanted to break down and cry. I broke down, feel down on my knees. It was good.

I opened my eyes. I saw it again! It was right there, I could see the line dividing my reality. The horizon, it was beautiful. This was beauty! True beauty. It resides in me. I saw it for the first time.

At that moment my legs stopped shaking, my body was cold and numb, I lost control, my body and my mind knew what was it here for. I took a step forward, and I fell. But something struck and I was left hanging. What is this thing, a thread? Huh? A thread it was so hard that I can't even break it with my body weight. What was is made up of? Hope? Regrets? Reality? Sadness? Love? Longing? What were those emotions? Why can I feel them now?

I thought of letting go, but this thread I just can't unbind it. Why can't I cut it? What was it? Hope? No it can't be! It was nothing but a thread on the end of the world.